A love letter to 2020 brides

Dear 2020 bride,

These are times that we have never experienced before. No other bride planning their dream wedding has ever had to be so cautious and considerate of others. I want to affirm that you’ve had significant loss in these last few months. It’s hard to say that out loud when there is so much devastation going on, but I want you to know your experience and your sadness matter.

Your wedding day is supposed to be all about YOU. It’s a day that you’ve been waiting for, a day where the spotlight gets to be on you and everyone is happy and excited to give you your turn. And all of a sudden, this day being about you is completely stripped away. Your wedding is now about what is best for everyone else. 

And that is just really hard. I commend you for being strong, understanding, and humble. Even if in the quiet moments of your home or your heart you haven’t felt that way, your emotions are valid. 

With that, I want to say I’m sorry. I’m sorry that this day that was supposed to be about you isn’t what you planned. I know that that doesn’t fix it, and I know I don’t have control over the situation. But I want you to feel heard and valued. I’m sorry that this day is more about what’s safe for everyone else than exactly what you’ve dreamed and Pinned about for years. If you’re moving forward with a 2020 wedding, I’m sorry it looks drastically different than you had envisioned. If you’re holding on to hope for a 2021 wedding, I’m sorry you have to wait longer than you want.

I want to leave you with some hope. No, I cannot guarantee when we’ll be dancing it up with 250 people on the dance floor, but I can guarantee that this sacrifice you’re experiencing will turn into something beautiful. 

While the 2020 wedding season is not going to create the most picture perfect Pinterest images, it is going to create the strongest, most beautiful marriages. Every couple has had to make their wedding choices out of sacrifice for other people. Whether you personally needed a mask or not, or personally needed to keep socially distant or not, you made the ultimate decision about your wedding because of your mother’s health or your cousin’s recent cancer diagnosis, or the general health and well-being of our country’s needs. You were thinking of your loved ones first and yourself second, which is the exact opposite of how weddings usually go. 

Here’s the hope: this sacrifice and perseverance you’ve shown in the last few months will translate into a strong, healthy, and long-lasting marriage. You’re becoming an expert in letting go of your wants and needs for the person and people you love. 

Marriage has 1,000 different little and big ways where you are preferring the other person’s opinion, sacrificing for the other person’s desires, and choosing to compromise for the sake of your spouse. 

It’s hard and unfair and is a real loss to not have the wedding or wedding season you had hoped for. But I promise, there is GOOD coming from this that will pay off for years to come.

I hope you can see that while everything has been taken away from you, you are laying the groundwork for a beautiful partnership, rooted in a deep understanding of how to serve and love someone else. And no public health order can cancel that.

xo-

Kelsey