How to plan your wedding and your marriage

Last year I wrote a blog post about taking a break from wedding talk. It was inspired by the MANY conversations I have with couples who are feeling the stress of wedding planning… and losing sight of why they’re getting married in the first place.

If 2020 has taught us anything, it’s that we have to take one day at a time. For couples who are engaged, they are learning that in real time with every aspect of their wedding. Are they going to postpone? Will their venue open in 2021? Can they have all the guests they want or should they elope?

These are BIG decisions, but none of them are as important as the decision to marry the person you’re with. With that, I have two pieces of advice for engaged couples:

#1: Make sure the task of planning your wedding doesn’t overshadow the planning of your marriage.

Now more than ever, I think it’s important for couples to keep the main thing the main thing: their marriage. They are making the decision right now to spend the rest of their life with each other. I know that there is SO much loss when it comes to things like picking a dress and having a bridal shower, picking venues, etc. Because there is so much NOT going as planned, I really want to encourage couples to take their relationship even more seriously than their wedding day. I truly believe when you invest most in your relationship that you will find MORE joy in the planning. You are rooted in what’s most important so when decisions get stressful, you have a strong foundation to lean on.

#2: Find a mentor couple to guide you through this stage.

Here’s the truth: you don’t have to go at this season alone! Yes, you and your partner need to be on the same team, but it’s SO helpful to have another couple further on their journey to help you. Find a couple who you admire or whose marriage you want to emulate. Ask them questions about how they handled the engagement and newlywed season.

Yes, our plans are uncertain, but our relationship doesn’t have to be. As you’re making phone call after phone call reorganizing your wedding day, make sure you’re spending as much if not more time simply ENJOYING your partner and dreaming of what kind of marriage you want to have.

THAT is always worth the investment.